The Secret to Stress Relief for High Achievers- Mini Episode

Are you struggling under the weight of impossibly high standards and the constant pressure to over-deliver? 

Discover the subtle art of easing up on perfectionism with Dr. Jillian Bybee, a pediatric critical care medicine physician, medical educator, and coach, as she shares life-changing insights from her own experience with burnout recovery. 

Tune in to learn how giving just 1% less effort in non-priority areas can help you break free from the cycle of overworking and reclaim much-needed time for rest and recovery.

This short episode delivers 3 actionable strategies for getting started in your own life today. 

Join me for more over on social media:
Website: Contact — Jillian Bybee, MD (jillianbybeemd.com)
LinkedIn: Jillian Bybee, MD | LinkedIn
Blog: Humans Leading | Jillian Bybee
Instagram: Jillian Bybee, MD (@lifeandpicu)
X: Jillian Bybee, MD (she/her) (@LifeandPICU) / X
Threads: @LifeandPICU

If you’re ready to kickstart your journey (or your team's journey) to a less stressed life…then I’m ready to help you! You can get in touch about 1:1 coaching or inviting me to facilitate a workshop for your group, get in touch via my website.

Transcript

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 0:04

Hello and welcome to Humans Leading, a podcast aimed at restoring the well-being and joy of high achievers who have burned out on their way to success. I'm Dr Jillian Bybee, a pediatric critical care medicine physician, medical educator, coach and leader in well-being and professional development. I use my personal experience with burnout recovery to help others do the same. This podcast is for anyone looking to move beyond hustle culture in order to find true fulfillment and well-being. In each episode, I share practical solutions on a variety of topics, including limiting beliefs, stress management, leadership, well-being and more. If you're looking to feel less stuck and redefine what a successful life looks like for you, this is your podcast. Come join me. Hello and welcome back to Humans Leading, a podcast where you can discover how to live a less stressed, more satisfying life. In today's episode, I'm talking about perfectionism, how it leads to stress in our lives and the secret to beginning to tackle it. Recently, I led a stress management workshop for a group of amazing professional women in my organization and I got a lot of nods when I started to talk about how stressful it can be to be a high-achieving perfectionist. As high achievers, we can often feel driven to meet impossibly high standards. We equate hard work with success and feel a constant need to over-deliver in every aspect of our professional and home lives. But there's a problem with this approach when you're trying to give 150% to everything and everyone, you end up with nothing to give yourself. You end up burning out because you're trying so hard. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you're in good company. High achievers often believe that putting in more effort automatically leads to better results. We can focus on unnecessary details or overextend ourselves on tasks that don't really move the needle in our careers. When we fall short of our standards, we double down on the effort that we're making, thinking that if we can just be more disciplined or more efficient, we can get it all done perfectly. This tendency to overwork was part of what drove me into burnout in the early part of my career. I was overcommitted and unable to keep all of the balls in the air, and eventually they all came crashing down. What we need to do is learn to prioritize what is actually the most important in our lives and give our best effort in those areas. The secret to combating the stress caused by perfectionism in our lives is to learn how to try a little bit less hard in the areas of our lives that aren't a priority.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 2:36

For a coaching client of mine, we had to start really small in order for her to get started. She felt that lowering the bar on her standards would mean she was a bad doctor. Get started. She felt that lowering the bar on her standards would mean she was a bad doctor. So it was important for us to go slowly. As she worked on changing her habits and her mindset, she decided to practice giving 1% less effort in some areas of her work, because she understood that not everything deserves the same amount of effort, and she used the 5-10 minutes that she saved every day to begin to do things for herself that helped her recharge during her day. This allowed her to feel less stress and to get out of the cycle of overworking and perfectionism. But it didn't all happen overnight. She knew this would be hard for her and said it was extremely helpful to have me as an accountability partner and cheerleader. The thing was, even before we made this plan together, my client already knew that this was the way to less stress and more time for herself. She knew that she had to try less in some areas, but she hadn't been able to give herself the permission. Instead, she had been taking a lot of efficiency courses and trying to work harder, which was only burning her out. In order to give herself permission, she needed me as her coach, to help, and she's in really good company.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 3:44

According to an American Society of Training and Development study, people are 95% more likely to succeed by directing their accountability to a third party and having regular check-ins with that person. This has certainly been true in my own life. I've been fortunate to have a few coaches who have been able to be accountability partners for me, and I've been able to make progress because of it. People are also more likely to succeed if they start small, and that's what I'm encouraging you to do today. That's really why 1% was a great place to start for this client. Like everything, it's a work in progress for her, and it's still a work in progress for me in my own life. The good news is I can work on it, and so can you.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 4:23

Before I dive into the three practical strategies to try less hard in your own life, I want to remind you that this will be a process. You won't be able to be perfect at it. You will have to see what works for you make adjustments and try again. You'll also have to have an open mind about the process and about yourself. I know that can be really hard as a high achiever, especially if you have perfectionist tendencies, but it's helpful if you find some low stakes ways to do this. That's why we're setting a goal of trying 1% less, or maybe more if you're going to be an overachiever about it, but I encourage you to try this out in your own life today. If you want to live a different life, you have to do something different, and the good news is you can start today. So here are the three practical strategies to get started.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 5:08

Number one set clear priorities in your own life. Focus on key tasks and give your best effort in these areas. Give less of an effort on things that don't matter as much. This is where the 1% less comes in. Over time, you might find that you can eliminate some of the things you're currently doing. Number two practice micro-mindfulness. Integrate small moments of mindfulness to center yourself and shift away from obsessive work habits.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 5:35

Mindfulness does not mean meditation. Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, non-judgmentally. This means that when you find yourself getting into a cycle of overwork, overwhelm and stress. You can ask yourself if there's a way you can try less and still have an acceptable result Over time and practice. This will allow you not to get stuck in these cycles of trying harder and harder.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 6:01

Number three start small. Like the client I talked about, you're more likely to succeed if you start incredibly small and build over time as you get more confidence instead of setting an unachievable goal for yourself. I know that can be hard as an overachiever, but it's really important if you want to have a less stressed life. So those strategies again are one set clear priorities. Two practice micro mindfulness to get out of overwhelm. And three start small and that's it. You're on your way to having less stress in your day and a little more breathing room for you to take care of yourself.

Dr. Jillian Bybee: 6:35

Today's key takeaway is that trying less hard can lead to less stress and better results, even for high achievers. I encourage you to reflect on where you might be overextending and to try releasing some pressure in that area of your life. And thanks for listening. If today's episode resonated with you and you're ready to start letting go of perfectionism and the stress that comes with it, I invite you to visit my website, jillianbibemdcom, and learn more about working with me via coaching. Coaching is a powerful way to help perfectionists break free from the constant pressure to overperform, gain clarity on what really matters to them and embrace a more balanced and fulfilling life. This has certainly been true for me. Together with my clients, I work on practical strategies to help shift your mindset, manage stress and create sustainable success on your terms. You can head to JillianBibeMDcom and inquire about how we might start your journey today. See you next time, thank you.